Itâs been 1 year and 3 months since we split up, and I am finally moving through the pain, however I donât think I will ever be the same. Lacking intimacy 11.) admitted sending explicit sexual photos to women he didnât know on line and wish he had done more sexually promiscuous things 12.) said he was glad I wasnât into porn and said he was vehemently against it 13.) i found him posted on a porn web site while we were still engaged soliciting sex 14.) had dated 224 women, yet hadnât had a significant relationship since college 15.) said he had done inappropriate things in the past that he didnât want to go into 16.) told me watching others have sex would be fun 17.) extraordinarily bright, but emotionally immature 18.) proposed marriage within 3 months 19.) one day he was up the next he was down. He stayed on his side of the bed, again no intimacy 21.) demanded my time when he knew I couldnât give it 22.) said he wasnât into public displays of affection 23.) he had little to no friends 24.) his parents were over involved in his life, yet he was in his mid 30âs.Though these warning signs may not fit every person with the bipolar disorder, I know many of them are typical: you can clearly see the warning signs of the manic stage (which I missed), mixed state, rapid cycling, and finally his depression. 1.) on the second date, found out we had very little in common early on. 25.) parents were in denial of his illness and treated him like a child 26.) he had a hard time getting off during sex with me he told me it was because he had been numbed by all his sexual experiences (in reality I think it was because of the drugs) 27.) he was very judgmental of me my family and friends 28.) kept track of gifts he had given people, or what gifts people gave him, had great expectations of others 29.) when introduced to others he would make comments about how no one seemed interested in him 30.) he frequently made comments about how much money he was spending on me 31.) he frequently pointed out my faults 32.) he was convinced I was bipolar and told me I should go see a physiatrist to see if I possibly could be.
It wasnât until after all was said and done that I did everything I could to read up on this disorder. I would therefore caution anyone reading your post to approach all relationships-including those with Bipolars-with due caution and allow the other individual to present his/her individual self without preemptive stereotypes and judgments. I cannot image what he would be like without the drugs. I too wonder if there isnât some âpersonality disorderâ that went undiagnosed. I have been seeing my therapist for over 2 years now, and ironically it was my ex that suggested I see someone, since he accused me of being bipolar quite frequently.
For those of you out there contemplating getting involved with someone with this disorder my advice is to turn and run. He never pointed out how much money he spent on me. My daughter also goes, as the breakup affected her immensely since she really had bonded with him. For instance he was very into video games and collecting toys. He was a star wars collector, which I thought was very cool. After our breakup he sold many items on ebay which made me sad, because I knew how much they meant to him. That bipolar people are affectionate, but when they become depressive, they want to be left alone.
Ironically he refused talk therapy as a way to deal with his illness 33.) constantly was negative and often wrote me e-mails in which he would put me, my family or daughter down.
34.) often brought up how much he hated his ex girlfriends 35.) constantly berated me for not doing things I said I would do and how I never thought about him 36.) often complained he âgave moreâ to others and expected nothing in return, when in reality he made note of it 37.) constantly complained we only did things I enjoyed, and I never thought about him 38.) he spent the night at a crisis center when I first broke it off with him, only 3 months into dating 39.) cried and begged me back 40.) was addicted to on line dating and would post on multiple dating sites even while engaged 41.) expected me to appear at certain events even after he broke up with me and became enraged when I didnât.
I had a child and I wasnât about to subject her to something I knew little about.
He wrote me back an e-mail which made me feel horribly guilty.I would never ever get involved with someone again in the future that was bipolar because of this experience, and sadly I have met and read a lot of people who have similar stories to mine. =( and then the second time, never bad was done, and he doesnt even pick up his calls. Never was controlling or manipulative, howver, towards the end, he just never was around and was too busy with other activities. Realistically, the relationship never would have worked, but he never said it, but always said I was too good for him... And me being an unstable person as it is, I couldnt handle the extreme unstability he was providing me, however, bipolars need love to do they not? Im still so depressed over it (4 months afterwards.) but I really want to know... While he may be bipolar, a lot of what you have written sounds like Narcissistic Personality Disorder.It was the saddest, hardest and most devastating relationship I have ever had. So, I always asked them (my friends) why should they not be in a relationship. I appreciate your saying that not all bipolar sufferers are alike. He was diagnosed by 5 separate specialists, or so he said. But I always thought his moods were extreme, especially given the medications he is taking and the fact that he has taken them consistently for the past 5 years.42.) could not make an important decision in his life without his parentâs involvement. 44.) told me I should be grateful for all heâs done.45.) constantly would send me âstatisticsâ of why our relationship wouldnât work 46.) during fights he would not answer his phone, turn off the lights at his home and pretend he wasnât there refusing to speak 47.) kept secrets from his parents 48.) said I didnât make him feel sexually attractive, but nameless faceless women did in general said very hurtful spiteful things to me 49.) would chat on line while we were engaged with other women 50.) we would rarely have sex. Where most engaged couples are so in love they have sex 3-4 times a week if not more.He has not been involved in another relationship since and blames me for his actions, saying I deserved it. What they think and say one day can be entirely different the next day. When we first broke up (this is the second time) he cried to get me back, but we were both so emotionally that I cried as well. --during fights he would not answer his phone, turn off the lights at his home and pretend he wasnât there refusing to speak 50. I tried sooo hard to stay to help him, but he shut me out one day out of the blue. Agree-- "told me he didnât think anyone could be as supportive and loving as his parents had been in his life" unfortunately, 56 is also accurate.