“First and foremost, it feels like you are hiding something,” she explains.“It also feels very off-putting if you ask someone a question, they punt back and ask you the same one, and you refuse to answer it.Sometimes smart people get caught up in every little detail of dating, which can make it quite difficult to find a suitable partner.
It seems like a curiously analog idea in a world rife with dating apps: hiring an old-fashioned, flesh-and-blood matchmaker.
But when you’re a single tech-world millionaire, chances are you need a dating strategy slightly more refined than simply downloading Bumble.
Invite your date to share their values and passions in life,” she suggests.
With each successive date, you peel back another couple layers.
Sure, you might have a specific idea of what you’re looking for, but instead of just considering your date’s job, where they grew up, and who their favorite author is, give more weight to how you actually feel when talking to them.
“Focusing on facts can feel like an interrogation or an interview,” Andersen explains.
“And they get “Whether it is long lists of must-have descriptors of an ideal match or a lack of willingness to look past even small things that might not pass muster in a potential match, many of my clients require coaching to learn to tap into their hearts,” she explains.
So instead of evaluating potential dates based on whether they fulfill every single one of your “wants” in a mate, Andersen suggests you give them a chance, go on the date, and pay attention to how you feel about them—not just what you think.
For example, if you’re divorced, it’s pretty much inevitable that you’ll end up talking about it on the first few dates.
Instead of waiting for them to ask you about your relationship history, Andersen says you can actually flip the whole situation on its head and broach the subject before they ask. Apply this technique to any big reveal you want to get out in the open, and you’ll end up looking both confident and honest.
It’s comes off as very one-sided and unfair.” So if you don’t want to talk about your childhood, job history, religion, or political views, simply don’t ask your date about these topics—although Andersen is quick to point out that talking about these things early on is often to your benefit. Speaking of not saying things, here are some secrets it’s alright to keep from your partner.