No matter the outcome, this attitude allows you to walk away with a gain you can keep. Do not become excessively flattering toward a woman on a first date; 4.
Susan Winter (Allowing Magnificence and Older Women/Younger Men) is a bestselling author and relationship expert specializing in today’s evolving forms of loving partnership and higher thinking. Bathe or shower within three hours before your date; 9. Never spend more than approximately .00 on a woman for your very first date with her; 3.
One day, however — trust me on this — the will to live fully again, and even experience companionship, will arise. It’s hard to throw yourself back in the dating game after 30, 40 years or more. I tell those I counsel to look at it this way: Cherish your old relationship, but don’t let it sabotage your prospects of forging a new one. More than merely a widow or widower, you are a person with opinions, hobbies, preferences, accomplishments, social values, political views and a unique way of looking at the world.
But the pointers I offer below can help ease your pre-game jitters. And if your feelings of guilt persist, see a counselor; you’ll want to resolve these thoughts before attempting to date again. As you think about how to present your authentic self, be selective about which of those attributes you share right away and which are best kept private until you get to know a new person better. Take some time to think about the type of new bond you’d like to establish.
First dates are often boring, awkward, unexciting, and even torturous to many men.
Guys build up the occasion in their mind for days or weeks beforehand, only to be severely let down after the fact.
Perhaps you’re ready to see the world and want to find someone who shares your wanderlust. The simplest is to ask friends if they know someone you’d enjoy meeting. Most people probably won’t think of suggesting this on their own (and if they do, they may hold back for fear of offending you).
Or maybe a partner’s allergies compelled you to live without pets and now you’re ready to romp with a fellow dog lover. Factors that loomed large in the past—good looks, financial success, whatever—may pale in the present as you acknowledge the importance of a partner who is kind and supportive, or one who is funny and entertaining. If you’ve become a bit, er, casual in the weight, wardrobe or grooming departments, now’s the time to ratchet up your game. So actively encourage them to think of you as a single, eligible person.In particular, avoid over-reminiscing about your old life; it may make your new acquaintance feel excluded. You may long to clone your lost love, but it’s unlikely you’ll ever meet an exact replica of the one you were with. After all, the person you met at age 25 changed over a lifetime, and so did you.Now you’re in a different stage, with a redrawn horizon.Always stay committed to your decisions, and never be apologetic about them either.If she doesn’t like your choice of venue, then make up for it in the interaction.Women want to be with a guy who has a sense of certainty in what he does and in what choices he makes.