Tips for dating a transman

A straight-identified teen wonders if having an Ft M (female to male transgender) partner means that she is a lesbian.

Figuring out your sexual orientation is complicated for a lot of people, but for someone with a transgender partner, this can raise even more questions.

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It never has been, and it's always been important to us both to be out and open. But being the partner of someone who is part of a minority community that, at best, is enjoying some supposedly newfound "fascination" focus in the media has its own set of challenges.These are just a few of those challenges I've encountered, and heard reflected back from other women partnered with trans men: 1.But I'd be lying if I said there weren't several occasions where I've thought I was meeting someone for the first time, only to realize that I've crossed paths with them — or their trans* partner — before.(Admittedly, this might say more about the queer social bubble I hang out in than about partners of trans folks generally.) 3. Unless we've invited you to be a part of our sexy times, I don't have any interest in offering you a play-by-play of how my spouse and I get down.Perhaps because we, as cis people, aren't used to experiencing such slights on a daily basis, we tend to be quicker to go on the defensive.

I am the first to climb atop my soapbox when I believe someone has slighted my spouse.Gender identity is how someone feels about their gender assignment.Sexual orientation, being lesbian, gay, bisexual or straight refers to who you are attracted to.Over the years, my partner has built up a necessarily thick skin when it comes to transphobic microagressions — the intentional misgendering, invasive questions, or challenges to his identity.My skin is notably thinner — and I don't think I'm alone in that.I'm slowly starting to realize that my readiness to anger is about witnessing discrimination with which I'm personally unfamiliar: I've never had someone tell me I was in the "wrong" bathroom, for example, or that I didn't "look" like the gender I identify as. As far as I know, there is no secret trans person communication group that serves to connect and introduce everyone under the trans* umbrella to one another.